IT'S STILL D & D TO ME

(Tune: "It's Still Rock 'N' Roll To Me")

What's the matter with the games I'm playing? Can't you tell that they're all passe?
Maybe I should buy the new Warhammer-- If you're into the hack and slay.
Used to be my life was much more stable, all it took was dice and a way with a table,
Now we're on the top of the Tower of Babel, but it's still D & D to me.

What's the matter with the traps I'm setting? Don't you know that they're much too hard?
Should I add a bunch of magic items? Are you gonna put a lich on guard?
Start a rumble with a ten-foot pigeon, that's the sort of thing that can give you religion,
Love, hate, chance, fate, demons in the City State, it's still D & D to me.

Doesn't matter what you read in the Dragon 'bout the combat being hard to run.
There's a new game in town, so you lay your money down, and it seems like a lot of fun,
Till you roll a natural one.....

Maybe I should get a dungeon module with the characters predefined.
You could really be a great gamesmaster if you stop trying to use your mind.
Here's a handy trick that's even cuter: set the dungeon up on your home computer.
Good, bad, sane, mad, copied from the Iliad, it's still D & D to me.

(INSTRUMENTAL)

What's the matter with the dice I'm rolling? All you need are a few d6.
How about a pair of d300s? You could really show the guys some tricks.
Have a little old man on the organ, he plays a top C and you get Demogorgon.
Sword, spell, Prince of Hell, is he wounded, who can tell?, it's still D & D to me.

Now we're on the top of the Tower of Babel, but it's still D & D to me.