UNDEAD
(Words by Jonathan Waite, tune "Beep Beep")

While walking down a dungeon stair,
Much to our disgust,
This skinny little cleric popped out of nowhere
And sneezed from all the dust.
(Cleric: Eh-choo!)
He must have been loony or tired of life
'Cos he kept on yelling "Undead!"
(Cleric: Undead!)
Announcing our location to
Whatever lurked ahead.
CHORUS
Undead!
(Cleric: Undead!)
Undead!
(Cleric: Undead!)
The guy yelled out "Undead!"
(Cleric: Undead!)

I signalled to my right-hand man
And quickened up the pace.
If we were seen with nerds like that 
We'd lose a lot of face.
The guy trotted after us cheerfully
Like a dog trots after a bone,
And though his breath came faster now
His voice still kept its tone.
CHORUS

We speeded up a little more 
To lose him if we could.
A cleric who's as dumb as that,
He must be Lawful Good.
He'd take all the treasure and share it out
And insist on turning undead.
(Cleric: Undead!)
For all the gold I'd get today
I could have stayed in bed.
CHORUS

We strode along the passages 
Past doors on either side.
Who knew what wealth or glory lay
In rooms we left untried?
The thief and the wizard fell down a pit;
We could spare no time to look back,
So great our need to rid ourselves
Of that which stalked our track.
CHORUS

We thundered down a flight of stairs 
And broke into a run,
And spells and traps and monsters took
My comrades one by one.
Yet still from the shadowy depths behind
I could hear him yelling "Undead!"
(Cleric: Undead!)
"I should have killed him right away,"
I cursed as on I fled.
CHORUS

The path was blocked ahead of me;
I turned to face my foe.
He smiled a little sadly as
His teeth began to grow.
His eyes flashed red and his voice rang out
Like the lightning splitting a dam:
(Cleric: "Undead's not what I want to fight:
UNDEAD'S WHAT I AM!")