DARK LORDS AND EVIL ONES

(Tune: "Mad Dogs and Englishmen")

	In fantasy flicks there's a scene that sticks in mind,
	Where all the heroes have been caught and so their futures will be short,
	But the enemy's plan, as the average fan will find,
	Will come to grief when no-one gets it 'cause the idiot always lets it all
 	unwind.
	(Puncheminna puncheminna puncheminna face
	Puncheminna puncheminna puncheminna face
	Kickeminna kickeminna kickeminna head
	Kickeminna kickeminna kickeminna head)
	It breaks our hearts when the villain starts to brag,
	Because we're sick of that old melodrama gag.
	Yuk!

CHORUS	Dark Lords and Evil Ones cop out in the final fight.
	Colonials don't care to, the Jedi wouldn't dare to.
	Batman and Superman will firmly defend the right;
	They show their wicked city
	No pity.
	In the secret lab on the concrete slab as the pendulum descends,
	If a leather strap should decide to snap or an iron girder bends,
	It's not nice to pay the price for one little oversight:
	But Dark Lords and Evil Ones cop out in the final fight.

	It's not a surprise any more when our eyes have seen
	The heroes trussed up on a rack with little hope of coming back.
	But the mastermind seems to think that's kind of mean,
	And when he gives them one more chance we hardly even bother glancing at
	the screen.
	(Sockemonna sockemonna sockemonna jaw
	Sockemonna sockemonna sockemonna jaw
	Shooteminna shooteminna shooteminna back
	Shooteminna shooteminna shooteminna back)
	It's a bit too much when the hero's such a null.
	It would be funny if it wasn't quite so dull.
	(Yawn)

CHORUS	Dark Lords and Evil Ones cop out in the final fight:
	The roughest goon-with-bludgeon stalks off in deepest dudgeon.
	Blake uses teleport when things start to get too tight;
	Tomorrow kids like flaunting
	Their jaunting.
	When the mayhem boys with their evil toys have the good guy in their grip
	And the honest bloke is about to croak it's the boss who lets him slip.
	Though Dan Dare and Brett Sinclair may not be exactly bright,
	The Dark Lords and Evil Ones cop out in the final fight.

CHORUS	Dark Lords and Evil Ones cop out in the final fight.
	There's Vader, Foul and Sauron, each one a perfect moron.
	Foul in particular fills nobody much with fright:
	Whichever way he chooses
	He loses.
	When the Ravers fly and the extras die and the Sunbane wracks the Land,
	All his desire is the magic fire in the ring on Tommy's hand,
	But yes! No! He wins, and so he dies in a flash of light:
	For Dark Lords and Evil Ones cop out in the final
	out in the final
	out in the final
	out in the final
	out in the final
	out in the final
	out in the final
	fight.