THE FILKER (Tune: "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel) I am just a filker though my songs are seldom sung I have squandered all my savings For a pocketful of filktapes and a microphone. It's not the best 'Cause it just hears what it wants to hear and (inaudibly) disregards the rest. When I left my home and my family I was neo through and through In the company of Trekkers In the chaos of a media con in Manchester. Laying low Seeking out the ninth-floor landings where the hotel staff don't go Singing songs that only media fen would know. Lie la lie (etc., to tune of Banned From Argo chorus) Asking only for a hearing I went to an Eastercon But I got no offers Just a fanzine from a couple of TAFF nominees I do declare There were times I almost thought that there would be no filking there La la la-la-la-la la la la la (etc., to Smilk song chorus, second half) Now I'm laying out my instruments and wishing for a song Something new So that all these clever neofen won't laugh at me Laugh at me... Something new... On the stage there stands a filker and a writer by his trade And he carries piles of paper With every song he might forget or jumble up the verses Till he cries out in his shame "Can't I please do Banned From Argo? For that's all that still remains." Lie la lie (to BFA chorus as before) ***