THE FILKING WOMAN AND ME

(Tune: "The Kelpie Woman and Me" by Talis)

Late in the evening, feeling under par
I was at a convention, propping up the bar,
Telling the world exactly what I think,
Well you know what I'm like when I've had a bit to drink

Noise behind me, turned to see who had come,
And a bold filking woman shoved her guitar up me bum,
Bag full of books and a flute across her knee
I knew better than to give her my ID

CHORUS
Better watch your step with the filking woman
Or you'll get caught up in a song she's made
It's the way she is, she just can't stop writing...
Better watch your step with the filking maid.

The filking woman said "Sorry, I'm sure,
Do you think you could maybe move down a little more?"
I said, "Hey, filker lady, don't you start your racket here,
This is trufans only--you better keep clear."

"But you can't say that," said the filker in shock,
"This is the only bar open after one o' clock.
I'm supposed to get drinks for the filkers in the ring.
If you throw me out, then I'm gonna have to sing."
(Do you really want to hear me sing?)

"No I don't," said I, as I signalled to the boys,
"Trufen don't like any other kind of noise."
"Shall I sing how you sent me packing?" said she.
"Ghod forbid that such a thing should happen to me!"

CHORUS

I said to her "If you put me in a song,
How do I know you won't put me in wrong?"
"Tell you what," said she, "come and listen when I've done,"
So that's why I'm here...at this bloody filkers' con...

CHORUS

(goes off humming) Jolly little tune...