YOU CAN'T KEEP A GOOD MAN DOWN, AND THIS ONE'S PRETTY BUOYANT TOO

(Tune "Danny Deever" by Kipling and Fish)

"What was that awful noise I heard?" said Credits-Roll-And-Fade.
"The ratings fell, the ratings fell," the programme planner said.
"Why are those limos driving off?" said Credits-Roll-And-Fade.
"The backers left, the backers left,"  the programme planner said.

So they're firing Danny Bennett, you can hear the soundmen jeer,
They're firing Danny Bennett, yes he's all washed up round here,
I guess he'll have to take another break in his career,
For they're firing Danny Bennett in the morning.

"O what has Danny done this time?" said Credits-Roll-And-Fade.
"Exposed another cover-up," the programme planner said.
"O who did he expose this time?" said Credits-Roll-And-Fade.
"The Greater Trowbridge Ludo Club," the programme planner said.

So they're firing Danny Bennett, you can hear the cheers and boos,
They're firing Danny Bennett, he's got nothing left to lose,
I heard that he's applying for a job with Globelink News,
And they're firing Danny Bennett in the morning.

"He always had a nose for news," said Credits-Roll-And-Fade.
"He's cut it off to spite his face," the programme planner said.
"He's used my phone a score of times," said Credits-Roll-And-Fade.
"His mobile's on recharge tonight," the programme planner said.

For they're firing Danny Bennett, God have mercy on his soul,
They've banished Danny Bennett to the Jobclub and the dole,
Investigative journalism really takes its toll,
And they're firing Danny Bennett in the morning.

"What is that quacking on the phone?" said Credits-Roll-And-Fade.
"It's Danny pleading for his job," the programme planner said.
"What makes you look so white, so white?" said Credits-Roll-And-Fade.
"He knows more than I thought he knew," the programme planner said.

So we're hiring Danny Bennett, I've restored him to his place,
He starts again on Monday--you must look him in the face,
And I must now report back to the blobs from outer space
Why we're hiring Danny Bennett in the morning!