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(Tune: "Drink! Drink! Drink!")

NOTE.--The chorus or refrain of this song, which may be easily identified, should be voiced in each case on a parabolic cadence, that is rising and then falling, in a tone of great if unfocused belligerence, if possible while waving some obscure mediaeval agricultural implement and shaking the free fist.

1.	Haarrgh! Haarrgh! Haarrgh!
Good villagers, raise your torches and join in our cry!
Haarrgh! Haarrgh! Haarrgh!
Quite shortly the monster and his creator will die!
Seize a hoe or a scythe or a rake;
Anything you have a spare one of, take...
Wave it angrily up and down
And join the march to save our town!
Haarrgh! Haarrgh! Off with his head!
Haarrgh! Haarrgh! He belongs dead!
Haarrgh! Haarrgh! Haarrgh!
When villagers march let all monsters beware!

2.	Haarrgh! Haarrgh! Haarrgh!
Now out of the town and into the forest we tread--
Haarrgh! Haarrgh! Haarrgh!
A mob by its Burgomaster courageously led;
Quite undaunted and heedless of fear,
If he should cop it we'll all shed a tear...
What though monsters devour him raw,
He'll steadfastly uphold the law--
Haarrgh! Haarrgh! Isn't that so?
Haarrgh! Haarrgh! Where did he go?
Haarrgh! Haarrgh! Haarrgh!
Our brave Burgomaster is running away!?

3.	Haarrgh! Haarrgh! Haarrgh!
Now under the castle walls our defiance we roar!
Haarrgh! Haarrgh! Haarrgh!
A battering ram's brought forward to break down the door.
Slash the portraits and tear up the stones,
Looking for trapdoors and ill-hidden bones...
Burn the books that we scorn to read,
Destroy the wealth we'll never need;
Haarrgh! Haarrgh! God's on our side!
Haarrgh! Haarrgh! When they have died--
Haarrgh! Haarrgh! Haarrgh!
The world will be safer for good folks like we!
(And CUT!)