SLASH WALLOW

(Tune: "Tit Willow", Gilbert and Sullivan)
At a con on a table a Trekfan she sat
Selling wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow. 
And a Nyrond came up and said "Pray what is that?
Is it wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow?
Does it feature the crew of the great Enterprise
In the sort of embroilments that prudes criticise
With obscene illustrations that draw the fen's eyes
To wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow?"

The Trekfan she blushed and she looked all around
At her wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow. 
And she saw all the fen that were there to be found
Buying wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow. 
And she said to the Nyrond, "I fear, sir, 't is true,
'T is the vilest slash wallow I have here on view.
But I'd really much rather that nobody knew
It was wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow.

"When I came to this con as a very young fan
With my wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow,
I embarked on a new and original plan
To sell wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow. 
I'd conceal it in covers all pure and pristine
And attempt to portray it as totally clean
To convince all the fen it was new on the scene
And not wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow.
 
"If my plan had succeeded I would have been made
With my wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow.
But now you have ruined the whole masquerade,
Yelling 'Wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow!'
I shall have to give up and wash pots for my pay."
But the Nyrond just smiled and said "Fear not, I pray,
If you give me a chance I will soon find a way
To sell wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow."

This song is too long, so I'll make the end short,
As in wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow. 
The Nyrond next day took the Trekfan to court
For her wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow.
All her zines and their contents were censured and banned
And then sold to mundanes all across this fair land,
And the Nyrond and Trekfan were much in demand
For their wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow. 

The Trekfan became most disgustingly rich
From her wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow. 
And the Nyrond declared he had found his true niche
Selling wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow. 
So if you see a Trekfan in diamonds arrayed
Riding out with a Nyrond in full cavalcade
You will know from this song that their fortunes were made
Selling wallow, slash wallow, slash wallow.