SNOTBUCKET, ACTUALLY

(Tune: "Pachalafaka")

Gargamadua,
Gargamadua,
They whisper it all over Britain.
Gargamadua,
Gargamadua,
It's so long it's never been written.
Oh, I know that name
Will set my soul aflame
'Cause it reminds me of you, my sweet;
Just the mention of
That tender word of love
Gives my heart a skittish British beat.
I don't like Portia
Or Calpurnia
Or any such dull Roman matron,
And I'm no flatterer
Of Cleopatera
(I'm highly allergic to natron)
But Gargamadua,
Gargamadua,
Takes me back with you to passionate Chelmsford scenes;
And it's there we'll stay
Till the very day
We find out what Gargamadua means,
We find out
	what
		Gar
			ga
				ma
					du
						a 
							means!

NOTE.--This somewhat slavish imitation of an old Muppet Show tune may be the only "Chelmsford 123" filksong in existence. Unless, of course, you know different...