CATFOOD

(Tune: "The Dane-Geld", by Leslie Fish)

It is always a temptation, in a hunger situation,
To leap upon a human and to say
"If you wish to stroke and knead me, I require you first to feed me,
Or else you'll find that I have run away."

And that is called begging for cat food
And the theory seems to be pat
That once you have given the cat food
You'll always be sure of the cat.

It is always a temptation, in a crisis situation,
To look upon a moggy and to say
"If I feed you from my plate, will you cease to agitate?
For I've really had a --- --- of a day."

And that is called giving the cat food
But experience counsels us that
Just because you have given the cat food
You don't get control of the cat.

It is hard to fight temptation, in a normal situation,
And cats can have a very winning way.
So before you make a beeline for the nearest unclaimed feline
You will find it much more pliant if you say:

"I don't give just anyone cat food,
No matter how earnest the plea..
So if you would be fed, get this into your head,
That the one who provides it is me, me, me, me,
The one who provides it is ME!!"