THE FLEA COLLAR TREE

(Tune: "The Mystery Tree" by Rhodri James)

They say there's a tree in the forest
They call  it the Flea Collar Tree
And one of its branches is just the right shape
For moggies like you and like me
So if somebody gives you a collar
And you don't like the fit or the hue
Then come to a meeting and tell us your tale
And we'll tell you what you can do.

CHORUS
Won't you come with me
To the shade of the Flea Collar Tree
You can lose any collar, no matter how tight
If you slide the branch in and then turn round just right:
When your neck is bare
You can scratch all you like and not care
If you're sick of the smell and you long to be free
Come with me to the Flea Collar Tree.

Now fleas are a badge of your tomhood.
They show that you're daring and tough.
And a really good scratch is a wonderful way
Of calling another tom's bluff.
Flea collars are strictly for sissies
And those who've been neutered, I guess,
But the smell of permethrin can really affect
A bachelor's sexual prowess.
CHORUS