MORE OF A WOMAN

(Tune: "More Than A Woman" by the Stylistics or someone)

Girl you know me very well
But now I guess I got to tell
You something that's been bugging me
I heard it on the BBC
Sperm counts have been going down
Scientists are running round
Examining the fish and mice
And what they've found just isn't nice
You know those plastic wrappers that they sell
Leach oestrogens into our food
Detergents, chemicals and cans as well
Leak this stuff into my bod, it oughta be a crime
I'm becoming female just a little at a time... (little at a time...)

More of a woman (more of a woman)
More of a woman each day...

Girl, you know I love you true
And I don't want to worry you
But thanks to our society
I'm losing my virility
I don't mind walking with a sway
I like not shaving every day
But now I want to go for tests
I think I've started growing breasts
But even though our sex life's gone to hell
That doesn't mean my love has died
I still believe that things could turn out well
Treat me as your sister, baby, we could still be friends
growing ever closer thanks to all those oestrogens... (all those 
oestrogens...)

More of a woman (more of a woman)
More of a woman each day...

(change tune)
I'll be schizophrenic
And highly oestrogenic
Just pour me one more goblet 
Of your oestrogenade!