THE SHOWER SONG

(Tune: "Suddenly Seymour")

M. Five in the morning
I'm in the bathroom
Nobody else is 
Up at this hour
Lay out my towel
Take off my bathrobe
Climb in the bath and
Turn on the shower.

Suddenly freezing
Water surrounds me
My heart is pounding
I'm turning blue
I think I'm catching
Double pneumonia
Till it gets warmer
I'll sit on the loo.

F. I get up early 
Every morning
Sharing the dawn with
Milkmen and cats
Creep to the bathroom
Crossing my fingers
Hot water's scarce in
This block of flats.

Suddenly scalding
Water surrounds me
I'm turning crimson
Try not to scream
I'm not a lobster
I don't want poaching
Till it gets cooler
I'll sit and steam.

M. I've got warm water
I leap in quickly
Washing all over
My sorrows I'll drown.
F> Now I am standing
Under the shower
Will it get cool if
I turn it down?

M. Suddenly scalding		F. Suddenly freezing
Water surrounds me		Water surrounds me
I just can't stand it		I just can't stand it
I'm turning red			I'm half dead
Suddenly freezing		Suddenly scalding
I leap from the shower		I leap from the shower
As from tomorrow		As from tomorrow
BOTH. 		I'm bathing instead!

M. Out on the landing
I'm in a hurry
Run down the stairs and
That's when we meet.
F. We take the same bus
Talk about showers.
M. I think you're charming
F. I think you're sweet.

M. Suddenly seizing		F. Suddenly falling
This special moment		Into the moment
As if we'd planned it		As if we'd planned it
We know what to do		Yes we do
BOTH.		First thing on Monday
		We move in together
M.And then forever		F. And then forever (x2)
BOTH.		And then forever--
		I'll shower with you!