THE YUPPIES AND THE TORIES, OH Words byZan, tune 'The Raggle Taggle Gipsies' Now Gandalf Moon was a man of peace And his hair and beard were flowing oh And he would get stoned every night of the week And moan about the yuppies and the Tories, oh. And birds flying by got a contact high And flew round and round in circles oh While Gandalf griped about the ozone layer And the crimes of the yuppies and the Tories, oh. Now Sunshine Lee was his old ladee And she loved him oh so dearlie oh So she did all the chores to the sound of his snores And cursed all the yuppies and the Tories, oh. Until on a trip while dancing in a skip She happened on a copy of Cosmo oh And stared at the page for what seemed like an age 'T was a photo of the yuppies and the Tories, oh. When Gandalf Moon woke up from his swoon All the squat was dark and emptie oh And he knew straight away that his lady gay Had been taken by the yuppies and the Tories, oh. So he did some speed just to feed his need And he mounted his bean-powered push-bike oh And tracked her down to a wine bar in Town Much used by the yuppies and the Tories, oh. 'Why have you left our groovy little squat And the greenhouse full of peyote oh? These are breadhead scum, their trip is a bum, Come away from the yuppies and the Tories, oh.' 'Oh what care I for your squalid little squat And your poster of Che Guevara oh? I haven't been clean since I was fourteen, I'm joining the yuppies and the Tories, oh. 'I'll go to a gym, get myself in trim, So I don't have to wear this kaftan oh, And then, my dear, I shall start my career, Making good with the yuppies and the Tories, oh. 'For the weak must fall or go to the wall 'T is the law of evolution oh. So if you can't cope, go back to your dope, I'm off with the yuppies and the Tories, oh.'