PORK PIE

(Words byZan, tune "American Pie")

A long long time ago,
I can still remember
How those stories used to make me smile.
And I knew if I tried enough
I could write Buck Rogers stuff
And maybe I'd be famous for a while.
But back in 1977
I was exiled back to heaven.
Without much enjoyment
I tried to find employment.
And when London sent its siren call
We obeyed the summons, one and all,
And used our pride to break our fall
The day that fandom died.

CHORUS
So bye bye Brian Burgess pork pie,
Heard that Roscoe went to Moscow but I know it's a lie.
Them BNFs could drink the Metropole dry.
Singing this'll be the day that I die,
This'll be the day that I die...

I went down to the old One Tun
Just to try and find some fannish fun,
But no-one seemed to want to know.
The trufans left me in the cold
So I stumbled into Yurinn's hold
And pretty soon the booze began to flow.
I drank the ciders and the beers
And I joined the crowd with the pointy ears,
The fun began to heighten
As we travelled down to Brighton.
And I threw myself into Seacon
As Eraserhead went on and on.
I couldn't know the thrill had gone
The day that fandom died.
CHORUS

Media fandom was my home
As Roj Blake burst out of his dome
But I was too far gone to care.
I wore the costume and the mask
It was all that any boy could ask
As Kirk returned in someone else's hair.
So I hung out with the LPG
And I had a mediaeval spree
But in the future and the past
Nothing's ever built to last
And so the LPG went down in flames
A monument to power games
And we searched for Spock under different names
The day that fandom died.
CHORUS

We made the jump to '84
And went down to Brighton just once more
But nothing could bring back the thrill.
I couldn't buy and I couldn't sell
And heaven looked a lot like hell
So I retired feeling slightly ill.
Life was hard and the numbers tight
As we journeyed through that cosmic night.
No lessons to be found
Even the Church went underground.
And like Ulysses on the voyage home
We glimpsed the light of burning chrome
And a road that did not lead to Rome
The day that fandom died.
CHORUS

The dawn was breaking up ahead 
And we blindly followed where it led
For every knight must have his day.
But the war zone took its grisly toll
We were six floors up and in the hole
And I nearly drove my closest friend away.
But a spirit from the realms of light
Recalled the songs I used to write
The signals issued forth
And the compass pointed North
And when the message came in broken Norse
And folly seemed the wisest course
We set off with no remorse
the day that fandom died.
CHORUS

So here we are in '93
It's been rough but we're still free
And so I hope we all remain.
I'm standing up here on the stage
Still trying hard to fill that page
But now at least I know it's not in vain.
People like the songs I sing
They laugh at me when I do my thing
The future's looking brighter
Someday I'll be a writer
And I've got to do the best I can
'Cause I know I've been such a lucky man
And I know that my life began
The day that fandom died.
CHORUS (repeat ad lib)