TIME POLICE

(Tune: "British Grenadiers")
Some talk of Space Patrolmen,
Of Lensmen clad in grey,
Of Captains of the Star Fleet,
All heroes of their day.
But throughout the span of history
The keepers of the peace
With a tick tock tick tock tick tock BANG
Are the fearless Time Police!

Our duty is to mark well
The march of human time
And any change in history
Is proof of chronocrime.
So we board our chronopanda cars
And pack our dentifrice
With a tick tock tick tock tick tock BANG
We're the fearless Time Police!

From infancy they train us
All human life to see.
They cram our brains with knowledge
At our Academee.
From the dawn of man to Terra's end
By way of Ancient Greece--
With a, etc.

And when we're educated
And ready for a shot
They take us out and dump us
Some place where men are not.
If we make it back they take us on
Their numbers to increase--
With a, etc.

The hours are antisocial
And the job is fraught with risk.
So everybody's profile
Is stored on floppy disc.
They keep a copy standing by
In case of our decease--
With a, etc.

So now we end our ditty;
The moral it is plain.
We're quite devoid of pity,
Insensitive to pain.
We track our prey with no remorse
Nor yet with prejudice--
With a tick tock tick tock tick tock (longish pause) BANG!
We're the fearless Time Police!