ABJECT PASTICHE (HPL MOVIE)

(Words byZan, tune "Walk on the Wild Side" as filked by Minstrel)

I was born in Missouri, yes indeed,
Made my name as a romantic lead,
Then one foggy autumn day, Roger Corman came my way,
he said Hey boy, make an HPL movie,
he said Hey Vince, make an HPL movie,
and don't forget Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu.

As a Disney child star I earned my keep,
Now I'm a D.O.M. on Quantum Leap,
But I know where I'd rather be, making time with Sandra Dee,
she said Hey boy, make an HPL movie,
she said Dino, make an HPL movie,
and don't forget Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu.

Oliver's my name, as you may guess,
And now I spend my time avoiding stress,
But back when I was young and thin, had no belly to hold in,
they said Hey boy, make an HPL movie,
they said Hey Ollie, make an HPL movie,
but they forgot Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu.

There've been other films as time went by,
Reanimator--Die, Monster, Die--
But none of them have been a hit.
There's something missing--well, I'm it!
I say Hey boys, make an HPL movie,
I say Hey guys, make an HPL movie,
so I can play Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu, Cthulhu, Cthulhu, Cthu, Cthulhu,
Cthu.