HERB

See him standing in the hardware store
With a faraway look in his eye
He calls in there once or twice a week
But you never can tell what he'll buy
Flashlight bulbs or vacuum hose
A radio valve or some chain
And the whisper flies round the neighbourhood--
"Herb's inventing again."

In his faded jeans and his baseball cap
He looks like a regular joe
But those physics profs up at M I T
Herb's forgotten more than they'll ever know.
Springs and wires and an old TV
With a food mixer and a toy train
You can see the lights in his shack every night--
Herb's inventing again.

They say that he's outdated
That the backyard inventor is gone
You need corporate funding and government aid
If science is gonna move on
But all he's got is a shack full of junk
With a sign saying "DO NOT DISTURB"
So I guess they can say what they want to say
As long as they don't tell Herb

He fixed my truck just the other week
So it don't need no gasoline
And the widow Malone gets her satellite TV
With no decoder, no dish and no screen
Then there's old Doctor Jones, he can reset your bones
With a gismo that stops all the pain
So everyone smiles when we hear the word
"Herb's inventing again."

And we make sure that no-one tells him
His inventions could never be true
So nobody but us ever talks to him--
And, stranger, that includes you..