STURGEON'S LAW (Tune: original, with hefty plagiarisms) When I was just a virgin, A lad untried and raw, A man called Theodore Sturgeon He formed a mighty law. He formed this mighty law, me boys, To prove he was no dud. For Sturgeon said that ninety per cent Of everything was crud. CHORUS When all is said and done and read I've got to tell you, bud, That Sturgeon said that ninety per cent Of everything was crud. To science fiction fandom This was a mighty shock. They cast about at random For ways to spot the schlock. They had to spot the schlock, me boys, Or their names would all be mud. For Sturgeon said that ninety per cent Of everything was crud. CHORUS When all is said and done and read I've got to tell you, bud, That Sturgeon said that ninety per cent Of everything was crud. And when they thought they'd found it, They raised a mighty yell, And built a wall around it, But as they laughed it fell. Yes, as they laughed it fell, me boys, With a great resounding thud. For ninety per cent of the ten per cent Of everything was crud. CHORUS When all is said and done and read I've got to tell you, bud, That ninety per cent of the ten per cent Of everything was crud. This great recursive fraction That Sturgeon brought to light Has sparked a gut reaction Of ignorance and fright. For no-one knows just what to read So he won't be called a spud; For ninety per cent of the ten per cent Of the ten per cent Of everything is crud. CHORUSOID And this is so, and has been so Since the days of Gwynn-ap-Nudd. For ninety per cent of the ten per cent Of the ten per cent of the ten per cent Of everything is crud. Oh, some eat meat, and some eat veg, And some just chew the cud, But ninety per cent of the ten per cent Of the ten per cent of the ten per cent Of the ten per cent Of everything is crud. Some read the works of Asimov While others read "The Stud." But ninety per cent of the ten per cent Of the ten per cent of the ten per cent Of the ten per cent of the ten per cent Of the ten per cent of the ten per cent Of the ten per cent of the ten per cent Of the ten per cent of the ten per cent Of the ten per cent of the ten per cent Of the ten per cent of the ten per cent Of the ten per cent...